Way back in my misguided youth, I read 'Hustler' magazine. One of the monthly features was a comic, titled 'Chester the Molester', that chronicled a child-molester's plots to entice a young girl named Dorothy Arlene into his clutches. One unintended consequence of this execrable feature was that inmates in various prisons nicknamed child molesters 'chesters', as in, "Tonight, a couple of the Chesters are getting a beatdown."
I put forth that we, the outraged citizens of this nation, extend that moniker to those that inflict public strip searches upon our children. So I, McWopski, hereby decree that those employed by the Total Sexual Assault organization shall no longer be identified by the noble, and wholly undeserved, title of 'Agent'. They shall now, and until this perfidy against the citizens of the United States of America has forever ceased, be referred to as 'TSA Chesters'.