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Thursday, August 26, 2010


So, I took Chaos and Mayhem fishing. It turned out to be an educational experience for me. I learned that Chaos has the attention span of a fly, and Mayhem's is just about half of that. I also learned that Chaos can cast a line with the best of them and Mayhem, once he gets the hang of it, will be just as good. Unfortunately, that's all they wanted to do; cast and reel it in. Cast and reel it in. The bobber was just another thing to fling into the water. Waiting for something to bite and thus, move the bobber, was way too slow for them. Mayhem wandered off to throw rocks and Chaos just kept casting and reeling in an almost frenzied manner.

Soooo, I've decided to change tactics. I bought some lures, and next time we'll hit a lake with trout in it. No doubt, with their natural talent for casting and reeling, some unwary trout will end up on the hook. I can hardly wait to see how that pans out.

The only wrench in the works that could possibly disrupt that event is the appearance of geese at the potential fishing spot.

Allow me to explain: like most bodies of water in the area, this one is frequented by flocks of geese. The result of these visitations is lots of goose poop all over the place. And, since geese are protected, there is little that can be done to eliminate them. However, I have secret weapons: the aforementioned Chaos and Mayhem. Both of them become absolutely giddy at the sight of a flock of geese resting comfortably upon the grass at the park. They can't get out of the car fast enough because a flock of geese resting comfortably anywhere is an affront to their little boy sense of dignity. Geese must either fly or get into the water and, to that end, both of them will chase said geese with what can only be described as unbridled joy. As long as one foot remains on solid ground, both boys will pursue the geese to the point of exhaustion (theirs, not the geese). The geese will obligingly run away, just out of reach of their pursuers, until such time as they can lift off in search of a more serene location, or until they can jump into a convenient body of water and paddle away.

Mission accomplished, both of them will walk triumphantly back to whichever parent is closest and describe their feats of derring-do. Frankly, it is great fun to watch and I have yet to hear anyone complain about the harrassment of these avian turd factories. Most people around here would just as soon shoot the geese as anything. Me? I'd hate to rob the boys of one of their favorite pastimes. I don't want the geese completely gone, I just want them to get a thorough workout from time to time.

In any case, I am fully prepared to see fishing rods abandoned in favor of a wild goose chase.

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