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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Nausea

I thought that I had witnessed the extreme of disgusting food when I saw Central Planning put maple syrup on her eggs and bacon. Now understand; I have a cast-iron stomach. I will happily try any ethnic food, no matter how spicy, weird, or exotic the ingredients are. However, there are certain foods that are an abomination. On the low end of the Abominable Spectrum is Pizza with pineapple as a topping. As a pizzaholic, I have tried many different combinations of toppings and this one just doesn't do it for me. Towards the middle, we have peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches, and I thought that maple syrup on eggs was the extreme in bad taste.

I was wrong.

Somewhere out there, somebody, after no doubt smoking massive amounts of Cannabis Sativa, got the munchies, cooked up a cheeseburger, and discovered they were out of buns.

"But, heyyy dude, I still have some Krispy Kreme donuts from this morning so I'll just slice one in half and make the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger! "

I am absolutely certain that if we check into the background of the person that came up with this idea, we will find somewhere in his ancestry there lurks a NAZI scientist that was in charge of developing chemical weapons.  The very idea just makes me shudder with revulsion. I haven't been this disgusted by a food concept since the announcement of the deep-fried Twinkie.

Yes, it's true. Someone actually took a snack that is completely devoid of any nutritional value whatsoever and found a way to make it even more unhealthy. I would have to look in Revelations again, but I'm pretty sure that this is one of the signs of The Apocalypse. I can see it now; Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers for dinner, deep-fried Twinkies for dessert, and a couple of shocks with a defibrillator for a bedtime snack.

I suddenly have an urge for a celery stalk.

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